Written by Ruramai Gatsi
It’s every girl’s dream to have a white wedding…so goes the cliché, but when you let that dream dominate your thoughts or feelings then it becomes a concern.
Sometime back, over lunch with my friends, we happened to discuss about lengths some people go to, just to have a white wedding. “I’ve heard of quite a few weddings that cost more than my parent’s house!” remarked one of my friends.
Are people becoming obsessed with weddings?
People go into debt just for a massive, impressive and expensive wedding. Has it become a cultural thing to have a white wedding?
As we’ve crept our way into the wedding season and with so many weddings going on in Zimbabwe’s post dollarisation period, my friends and I couldn’t help but notice that people especially women allow their big day to become their all-day, everyday reason for living – always talking about what they will wear, flower arrangements and decor, what their cake will look like – the list is endless.
Even so, the wedding culture has engulfed our society to the extent that many women –sometimes together with their grooms – go out of their means of living just to have a “killer wedding.”
For some odd reason, I somehow concluded that women are intensely competitive about marriage and weddings. They compete against their female friends to see who can marry best and who can have the best wedding. So it’s all about outdoing the next person.
“If our society was half as obsessed with having a perfect marriage as it is with having a perfect wedding, maybe the weddings would actually be worth all the money we burn on them,” said one lady.
Late last year, a Mount Pleasant couple splashed $370 000 on their wedding, becoming the talk of Harare. So extravagant was the wedding that the Glen Lorne neighbourhood came to a standstill when the couple arrived at the reception aboard a private helicopter.
“It’s not a crime to be rich, let them enjoy their money. Should those that have money feel guilty about being rich particularly if they have worked hard for it?It is just like a man earning $500 per month, organising a wedding worth $800 dollars, can the man be blamed. You spend as much as you earn,” commented one spectator.
It has become a trend for brides to have two wedding gowns for their big day, and in some instances, bride-maids also get two dresses each, one for the ceremony and the other one for the reception.
What difference does it make from having one dress for the whole function?
Looking at the lengths to which some people go to have these lavish weddings, I do believe there is a certain obsession in the society especially amongst women, simply because it’s one of the most important days of their life.
A few years ago, I heard about a woman who was so obsessed about the idea of having a wedding to the extent that she planned a nonexistent wedding for more than a decade. She bought a wedding gown,years before she knew her future husband.
Yes, you heard me right.
She wasn’t even seeing anyone, let alone had plans of getting married when she bought her wedding gown. She called it FAITH. Hebrews 11 verse 1 “Now faith is confidence in what we hope forand assurance about what we do not see.”
Who is to blame for the white wedding craze going on in our society? One would argue that it’s the media that has instilled ideas of extravagant white weddings in our society.
After watching films like The Wedding Date and Bridesmaids; wedding reality TV shows such as Say Yes to the Dress, I Found the Gown and Four Weddings, ladies, who can blame us for wanting to have over-the-top weddings.
One writer once asked; “With the amount of wedding propaganda shoved down our throats by popular culture, how can women not be obsessed with it?” So can we say social networks – the likes of Facebook and Twitter – and chick flick movies has a psychological effect on the way society particularly women view weddings.
On Facebook, there are a variety of wedding pages such as Zimbabwe Weddings and in the newspapers you will find spaces dedicated to wedding pictures like Sunday Mail’s Bride of the Week.
Some even rush to get married just to have weddings.
So ladies before you say yes to that proposal maybe you should take time to see if you in love with the man or with the idea of being the center of a wedding party.